1/5/14

a.k.a. "I thought this post would be done by Saturday"

Do you ever have one of those ridiculous moments where you just have to stop and stare at your hand, and all you can do is just stop and wonder that we're all humans? We're literally just strangely evolved animals that eat their food off of plates,  and we have this super weird language/way of communication that's basically just everyone grunting, but we have hundreds of specific ways of grunting and all of those ways to grunt mean something different in different places. And the grunting has dialects. I have these moments on an alarmingly regular basis, and usually during dinner so I also get to worry my parents with my many revelations. One of these times happened just a few hours ago so I thought I'd try to finally verbalize it.

It just makes me feel so impossibly small. At the same time it makes me feel an incredible amount of pride to just be alive, like I'm swelling up and glowing until I just consume the whole world. There's so much potential. It's exhilarating. When I get like this I like to lay in bed and listen to Lana Del Ray for hours while my mind debates whether or not it would be worth it to spiral into yet another existential crisis. Perhaps I have those a bit to often for someone my age. The rush of embracing life makes it worth the effort; there's almost nothing comparable.

I'm staring at my hands as I type this (and not only because I need to look at the keyboard to avoid extra typos) and feel like all of the energy in the world is running through my veins to my fingertips. Moments like these make me feel happiness in one of the purest ways I can remember feeling, like daisies and light and yellow have exploded out of my chest and I can't help but smile. I could do anything right now. I could post this and then pick up a notebook and start writing the world next great work of literature or practice drawing until I can create something truly beautiful.

And that's something else too. I just feel this unbelievable urge to create and just spend my whole life writing and drawing and dancing and singing until I can emerge from my cave and be happy. I want that more than anything.

Maybe this will be a good year after all.





1. http://teganjackson.blogspot.com/; 2. Filipa Aurelio's tumblr; 3. from the Ulysses series by Miles Donovan; 4. Unknown

9 comments:

  1. Love the new look, and of course the wonderful words that make up this post

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    1. Thank you! :) It took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out I could put pictures in the background.

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  2. The way you write is beautiful! And don't worry I also spend an extraordinary amount of time worrying about existence.

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    1. Thank you so much!! And I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks about that stuff

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  3. I love this! I get that feeling all the time. It's so incredible sometimes to think about. I love the pictures, too! Beautiful post.

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  4. Oh wow this is so beautiful, you just made me rethink this life. You're very lucky to have those moments of revelation. I've never realized it before, maybe i just lacked the depth you have, or I'm too centered on my angst and things that are not worth thinking. Maybe you're right, maybe good things can happen this year. :)

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  5. I've never really done the staring at my hands thing. I probably will all the time now though! It always amazes and frightens me that I will never know what it's like to be someone else and I think about that quite a lot. I get what you mean about just wanting to create all the time. Also about lying in bed and listening to Lana Del Rey. I love this post

    http://prettypassionsfinefashions.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Yeah, I know what you mean about how we'll never be someone else. It's incredible to think of how many little things go into creating our personalities. I'm gal you liked the post :)

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