I think I've become Angela Chase.

Or at least, I kinda want to be her forever.

I discovered the glory that is My So-Called Life about three months ago when I was on the search for another show I hadn't yet devoured. After looking it up, I found that the entire series was on Hulu. What could be the harm in watching?

Over the course of four days I watched all nineteen hour long episodes and barely ever left my room except for necessities, like school and food.

Within a week of the marathon, I noticed I was starting to talk like her, with lots of um's thrown around, and uh's at the forefront of every sentence. Pretty soon after that, I realized I was starting to become weirdly introspective at inconvenient times, specifically Chemistry class.

Angela's whole shtick is that she's trying to find herself, and understand her mind, while in the process try to make other people make sense. And she's insecure about it, which really helped me fell less like an outcast than I have in the past. As a tv character, she's one of the most flawed I've ever seen, and that makes her more real to me than anything. Angela was a real person and was someone I wanted to be like because as confused as she was, she never really tried to change, or at least not for long.

Since watching the show, I've become more confident and happy. I'm more sure of who I am right now than I ever have been and I think Angela Chase and the entire show helped me more than I can possibly say. They all have problems never fully resolved, and questions that are never fully answered, just like real life, and I've learned to just let them go and deal with myself before I force me on other people.

Honestly, I think of her as a friend. Just another sort of weird fifteen year old girl trying to figure it out, and someone I depend on.

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